I woke up this morning with a sense of awe in regards to peripheral vision.  I have these weird moments every once in a while.  Sometimes I’m amazed with all of the joints in my hands that make it possible to do so many different things with them.  I am continually impressed the the design of the human body.

So with peripheral vision, how is it possible that I can see almost 180 degrees when I look forward?  It’s like I have eyes on the sides of my head.  I guess it has something to do with the curvature of our eyes (although I would think the convex aspect of our eyes would give everything that “fish eye” lens effect).  I don’t really know how it works, but I think it’s incredible!

The thing about peripheral vision, though, is that I rarely pay any attention to it.  Maybe something will catch the corner of my eye, but then I’ll turn my head and look at it with my full gaze.  But that is not an often occurrence.

There are a lot of things in life, and perhaps even a lot of people, that are in the peripherals.  Things that nobody pays attention to.  People that no one even notices.  In Vancouver, for instance, there is a whole community of people living on the street in the downtown east side.  Many people just walk on by when they see a homeless person begging for money.  They pretend like they don’t even see them.  They keep the homeless in the peripheral, where it is safe.  I am very guilty of this myself.  Part of the problem is that I don’t know what to do to truly help them out (because obviously, for many of them, money will just go to drugs or booze).  But I think the bigger issue is that I have kept my life so busy so that I can use the excuse: “I can’t help because I don’t have the time.”  Who does have the time?  And homeless people are only one group in the peripheral.  What about people with special needs, or the elderly, or pregnant teens, or refugees, or prisoners?  What about sickness, or disease, or under-funded public transit?

There is a lot in the peripheral and we need artists to turn our heads.  We need paintings, songs, dances, films, and writings to catch our eye so that we may look with our full gaze.  We need people who are willing to miss an episode of their favorite show in order to have the time to help someone in need.  We need to look around and see what’s going on.

I love it when my friends come out to my concerts because it’s always great to hang out with them and I feel supported by their attendance.  However, I totally understand that they can’t come to all of my shows… that would be a lot of time and money for them to invest.  But whenever they are able and willing, I really appreciate it.

There is actually something good, however, that comes from me playing gigs alone.  It allows me to spend more time getting to know new people, whether they be other artists, musicians, or fans.  And in an industry so dependent on connections, it is very good for me to spend some time getting to know people.

Last night I played a show at the Railway club here in Vancouver.  This is a venue that bands like the Barenaked Ladies and the Tragically Hip have played at, so I was pretty stoked.  When I got to the club, I met the other performers and found out that we were going to all stay on stage for the whole set.  This was a foreign idea to me.  Usually concerts are divided into sets with different acts - one or more opening act and then the main event.  But we were all up there the whole time.  I would play a song, then Jenny would play a song, then Super (that’s his real name, I think) would play a song.  It was different, but kinda cool.

As I was mentioning earlier, playing shows alone allows me to meet new people.  As I was drinking free beer (perks of performing), I had a conversation with a man named David.  He had a fantastic D’artagnan mustache (you know, the mustache accompanied by a soul patch).  For a living, David makes wooden horns… like didgeridoos and stuff like that.  He told me a story about sneaking into a public park at night to cut down the perfect branch to make a horn with.  He dressed completely in black and even painted his saw.  He even got a woman and her dog to come with him to be on the lookout and to also be a distraction in case anyone was coming (he also told me that this was a great way to seduce women… there’s nothing more romantic than breaking the law together).  Apparently he almost got caught by the cops once, but managed to sneak away.  He seems to think that no one would notice a branch missing from the park, but admits that he would look mighty suspicious walking past a police car, all dressed in black, holding a saw in one hand and a giant branch in the other.

Later on I had an inspirational conversation with Super, one of the other performers, about the music business.  He encouraged me to keep playing shows and told me that I have some good talent.  Encouragement is like the fuel to my music career.  It drives me to keep performing.  I think I will always play music nomatter what, at least privately, just because I love it… but in order for me to play publicly, I need to know that other people actually appreciate my music.  It would be selfish for me to play songs that people don’t even like.  A few months ago I was unsure if anyone would like my music, but now I’m starting to think that it really does connect with quite a few of people.  I just need to get the exposure so that people know about my music.  If you have any ideas or connections for me, let me know.

I just tried googling myself (that sounds so wrong) and found out that my album is now up on various online stores.  If you haven’t yet bought my CD, you can download the album for a lower price at the following stores:

iTunes (just search for “Jeff Hawker” or click the link below)

eMusic

Napster

Amazon

I would also appreciate it if you were to write a review of the album, so that other people have an idea of what I sound like and what to expect from the album.  I’d really like to hear your thoughts on my music.

Thanks.

I used to work for a company called Classic Tents and Events. I would set up those big white tents for weddings, festivals, and corporate events. I would also deliver chairs and tables and whatever else the client might need for their party. It was a decent job and I had a very gracious and generous boss. I was never really able to attend any events, but I did get to take part in the “behind the scenes” activities. This sometimes meant experiencing the wrath of an executive or a mother-of-the-bride (who happen to be some of the most intimidating people on earth… not the executive… the mother) if something went wrong.

The biggest mistake I ever made at that job was when I was told I could park my truck on the grass at a garden wedding in order to be close to the set up area (well I guess it was actually the fault of the person who told me to do that, but I still felt bad). Little did I know, the earth beneath the grass was very soft… I got the truck stuck in muddy grass! This could have been fine if we were setting up for a wedding that was the next day, but we weren’t. Gardens (at least garden that rents out their property for weddings) tend to leave very little time for set up. The wedding started before we could get the truck pulled out of there. To make matters worse - the truck was parked in the spot where the bride was supposed to come walking through (sort of like walking down the isle, just without an isle). So instead of walking through this beautiful entrance to the garden, the bride had to tiptoe around an ugly work truck. I felt so bad for her. But from my hiding place, it looked like they still had a good wedding. I’ve never had a worse day at work than that day.

I remembered this old job I had because I’m starting to think of doing music for weddings and events. This would be in addition to playing concerts of my own. Things have gone fairly well with my week of hunting for gigs. I’ve gotten three shows confirmed and a couple still pending. I will continue looking for more opportunities to play my original music. However, I know that I could get some good supplementary income from performing cover songs at events. I’m trying to decide if I should do it acoustically or start some sort of band. What do you think?

If you or someone you know has a wedding or event coming up and you want some live music, send me an email: contact@jeffhawker.ca

If you need some professional photography, send Adam Loewen an email: info@adamloewenphotography.com

I was only home for an hour or two after a long day of serving coffee, cleaning washrooms, and organizing random canned foods at the Mission Possible soup kitchen (see my blog post called “Selfish”… not completely related, since this was an event for my youth group, but I did feel good about serving) before an elderly couple that I am becoming friends with invited me to an open house at an art gallery.  It sounded interesting, so I quickly chowed down my dinner and headed out with them.

The gallery had three rooms with distinctly different artwork in them.  The main room featured giant canvases with paintings of the night’s sky.  Each one was painted at a certain intersection in Vancouver.  They were each selling for $22,000.  It was an interesting concept for a series, but I didn’t quite get it.  Was there a deeper meaning?  Was I just not deep enough to understand?  I wasn’t too concerned though… there was free wine.  Any painting looks good when drinking free wine.

There were a few really good works of art though: a ceramic sculpture of a tooth with a broken crown (entitled “sweet tooth”), a ceramic sculpture of a kid peeing his pants (entitled “accident”), and an impressionist painting of  looking out a  hostel window in Paris (that one brought me back to the three days I spent in Paris  a while ago… so good).

However, the thing that really intrigued me about the art gallery was not the art or the wine or even the people there… it was this plain white door that simply said “Private.”  It took everything within me to not open that door.  I’m not sure if it was my rebellious side wanting to disobey the restriction, or if there was something more to it.  Maybe it was the idea that something special could be behind that door just waiting for me to come join in the adventure.  Whatever the reason for my wanting to open that door, I’m glad I didn’t.

I’m a person with little privacy in my life… I share a one-bedroom apartment with a roommate, I sing songs about some of my most painful moments, I blog almost daily about anything and everything going on in my life, I’m currently on Facebook and Myspace, and I’m considering more (perhaps Twitter).  The thing is - I may be willing to sacrifice my own privacy, but if there is ever a “door” saying Private, I expect myself to not walk through it.  Why?  Because disrespecting privacy is like stealing intimacy.  It’s like the inappropriate-hug-guy.  I don’t want to be that guy.

It’s day one of my week-long hunt for gigs.  I haven’t have a lot of time, so I decided to just look online rather than going out to places.  I searched myspace for semi-well-known Vancouver artists such as “Said the Whale”, “Hey Ocean”, “Mother Mother”, and “Dan Mangan” .  I sent them a message asking to be an opening act for them sometime.  Dan Mangan replied saying that my music sounds good and it could be a possibility in the future (I don’t think he’s playing in Vancouver any time soon).  I haven’t heard from the others yet.

I eventually realized that it would help to be asking to open for artists who are actually playing in Vancouver sometime soon.  So I looked up all the upcoming shows in town and started sending out messages.  This was taking a really long time and many of the artists were actually DJs, cover bands, metal, or electronica (none of which would fit well with indie-folk).  So I limited my search to folk music and continued messaging artists.  I made sure to listen to them a bit and compliment them on their music.

I was surprised to see four replys (not including Dan Mangan’s) within an hour… all possitive!  One of the bands said they could add another date to their tour if I can book the venue for us.  The other three said that I could open for them.  So there you have it -  four prospective gigs, all from just a couple hours’ work.  Not too shabby.  If I can keep this up, I’ll be touring in no time.

Well I gotta get ready for my show tonight.  It’s at 8pm at SFU’s Highland pub.  Hope to see you there.

I got a call from Adam late one night,

“Jeff, me and Tony are coming over tomorrow morning at 9:30. Don’t shower or eat breakfast. We’re going to make a stop-motion music video for ‘Shame on Me’. It will be a day in the life of Fawker [his “clever” nickname for me… I don’t really mind it]. We’ve worked out the storyboard and everything.”

“Well… okay,” I said, knowing that I didn’t really have a say in the matter. I was actually pretty excited even though I had no idea what the plan was.

Adam and Tony came barreling in a half hour late and likely running on pure caffeine. My roommate and his fiancé sacrificed their quiet Saturday morning for our crazy antics (I guess I probably still owe them for that). We started shooting right away. Adam told me to climb into bed and slowly reach for the alarm clock. He shot at rapid-fire speed to get the stop-motion effect. We proceeded to shoot scenes all day. Most of the music video actually involved what I needed to do that day: eat breakfast, brush my teeth, practice music, etc.

There was one scene that is allusive and artsy where I am just standing completely still at the bus stop. We actually completely lucked out with this beam of light shining where I was standing. If we shot that even half an hour later, that light would have been gone.

The annoying part of making the music video was the editing process. For the longest time we struggled with the math of how long each of the 669 pictures should last for the 3 minute song. Then once we figured out the equation, the computer program wouldn’t work properly. So we gave up for the night and just poured drinks and shared stories.

A few days later we tried editing on a different computer with different software but the computer kept crashing. So we tried a third computer with yet another program. It ended up being Windows Movie Maker (a bottom of the barrel, free program) that worked in the end. It took three different computers and three different programs to get this short video to work. Editing engineers in the film industry have my sympathy.

Check out the video here or on my Media page.

I had always dreamed of featuring a cello or violin on my album, but I had the hardest time getting a hold of strings players that I knew. I almost gave up on that idea, but I figured I could try Craigslist as a last resort. I was amazed to get about twelve responses to my add in the first couple days. Who knew there were so many strings players in Vancouver! I guess money is a good incentive for them to come out of their hiding places and introduce themselves. Unfortunately I received mostly replies from violinists and I had my heart set on a cellist.

Eventually I got an email from Catriona, a cello instructor with 25 years of experience. I didn’t even bother auditioning her. I thought, “If she can teach it, she must be able to play.” And I didn’t think my cello lines were that complicated either, except for being in an awkward key for the instrument. My ignorant trust actually paid off. She was very talented and easy to work with. She even wrote the cello lines for “Broken and Beautiful” right there on the spot. Quite impressive. (I wrote the cello line for “Numbed” myself though. I’m pretty proud of that actually. It made me want to try composing some classical music). Anyway, the moral of the story is that Craigslist is a great resource for musicians.

At the age of twelve I wrote my first song. Finally now – 10 years later – I’ve started to release my music to the public. I think there were four main things stopping me before:

1) I was convinced that I was unprepared

2) I was afraid of rejection (if I was unprepared, no one would listen to my music)

3) I lacked the finances to record

4) I was too lazy to put in the hard work

All of these obstacles continued to haunt me even through the recording of “Dark Before Dawn”, but I found ways around them. I think the ultimate reason I got off my lazy ass and decided to give my music a shot was because my friends and family challenged me and encouraged me. In fact, one of my friends confronted me with some tough love, saying, “If you don’t get started with your music now, you’re never going to do it.” Almost immediately after hearing this, I set some goals, made a plan, and started working – just to prove my friend wrong. I guess his reverse psychology worked on me.

Everything seemed to fall into place once I decided to just go for it. Somehow I had the finances. Somehow I became more motivated and more confident.

A saying comes to mind: “If you want something in life, you have to reach out and grab it.” This is cliché and lame, but I think it applies to my situation. I needed to stop dreaming about being a singer/songwriter and start doing what it takes to be one. It was a simple but profound lesson for me.