I had heard that U2 concerts were spiritual events - almost like church worship services - but I hadn’t experienced it for myself until tonight. And what I had heard was correct. There were moments of pure communal unity and joy. I think specifically of the moment that the band left the stage and the whole crowd erupted into a cheer for an encore. The sound of our un-amplified voices and clapping hands matched the volume of the rock band at full blast. It’s like how I image a triumphant entry into the afterlife would sound.

There’s something that U2 has that few other bands or artists have. It more than the music. Their concerts and their songs are so full of life. They point towards hope and a promise of something better.

This is inspiring to me as an artist.

I feel like I’ve written enough sad songs. I’ve poured out my broken heart and intended to connect with people who are hurting. But I myself am now healing and feeling really good. It is time for hope.

Last night I think I played the best show of my life so far.  It has reignited my passion for music.

The concert was at the House of James in Abbotsford.  I used to live in Abbotsford and I never thought that it was a great place for gigs, but after experiencing my fair share of dull gigs in the “big city” of Vancouver, I realize that smaller cities and towns are fun to play at because they have less events and places competing for their attention.  And I think this affects the way the people respond to hearing some good music.  They want to support the artist and really get connected (or so I assume from what I observed).

There were quite a few people who bought my CD, plus people payed cover to see the show.  So I made a decent amount of money.  It feels so good to make money doing something I love.  And it’s not about the money in itself.  I’m very content with a simple life and am not in it for fame or fortune.  It’s a weird psychological thing that I’m talking about.  It feels good to get paid for playing music because it shows that people value my work.  They ascribe worth to my music when they pay to listen to it, whether live or on a recording.  Payment is a sacrifice.  In the old bartering system, people would exchange goods or services for other goods or services.  Now we have money as a middleman.  So when I get paid for a CD or concert it’s like people are saying, “Good job.  Your music is appreciated.  I will trade you this for your work.”  Hearing the verbal encouragement is nice too, but it doesn’t take much sacrifice on their part and, therefore, falls a little flat.  I remember the faces of people who buy my CD.  I don’t always remember the people who said, “Good job.”  But in the moment I still appreciate it.

I also want to mention a few people who made the night so great:

- Lando, the owner of House of James who let us perform there

- Adam Roper, who organized the event

- Brad and Shannon who drove me (I don’t have a car)

- Barbara Swain and Josh Hyslop who both performed phenominally as well

And last but certainly not least…

- Emily Ewing, who sang with me and did a fantastic job

Thanks also to everyone who came out to listen.  We couldn’t do it with out you.

What a week!

I’m dog tired, and sick, and I have to wake up early to travel to the Interior for a wedding (which I am looking forward to, it will just not help the tiredness).

“Why are you so tired?” you say in an inquisitive and mildly concerned tone.

Well… the main reason I’m tired is because of kids.  About 40 of them to be specific.  This week I helped out with a kids camp called VBS.  It was a blast, but it drained me.  I spent hours upon hours running around, chasing kids, lifting kids, being attacked by kids, singing, jumping, yelling, dancing, playing “grounders” and other games, etc.  For a relatively-out-of-shape-non-athlete like me, this is pretty intense.  Oh yeah, I also had to wake up at 6:30AM everyday, which is also intense for a mostly-self-employed-rockstar-wannabe like me.

Crazy kids and no sleeping in would be managealbe by itself, but this was also busy week with music.  I was burning the candle from both ends (is that how the saying goes?)

Here’s what I’ve been doing:

- finding students and writing curriculum for guitar lessons
- finding musicians and starting auditions for a cover band
- playing shows (I had two this week)
- playing on a radio station

Yesterday, I met Julie Lee.  She is an amazing violinist and we got along really well.  She was so good that I invited her to play with me at my show that night (which Julia Spitale hosted so wonderfully).  We performed some songs that she had never even heard before and no one in the audience would have known - she’s that good (it’s like playing with Brielle, for those of you who saw her play with me).

The radio appearance was really cool.  It was at Simon Fraser University’s CJSF 90.1 FM station, on a show called Melodies in Mind, hosted by Ryan Fletcher.  There were three other performers - Aidan Mayes, Dana Marie, and Day Cart (four if you include both guys of  Day Cart - whose name is a reference to philosopher Rene Decarte) and we did a song circle.  We traded songs back and fourth.  All of them were really talented.  In fact one of Dana Marie’s songs almost made me cry.  It was a great show in general.  You can hear a few of the songs at http://www.myspace.com/melodiesinmind

Or download the full show here in two sections: one and two

Anyway, it’s been a hectic week!  I feel wrecked.  But what keeps me going is that I absolutely love everything I am doing.

This post is kinda late… oh well.

Canada Day this year was pretty awesome.  I started out with a block party.  I helped set up and tear down, I played music, and I fell into the dunk tank innumerable times because whenever the kids missed the target, they would so kindly walk up and hit it with their hand.  It never stopped being funny… for them.  I also floated around to help with whatever else I could.

Then after a quick nap at home, I headed out to my weekly Live Music Wednesdays show at Bean Around the World.  Two amazing acts from Abbotsford came out to play: Barbara Swain and Cale Stanage.  They brought a good group of people with them too.  Barabara’s voice is like an angel and Cale’s songs are so fun - one of his songs borrows the line “I scream for ice cream, you scream for ice cream, we all scream for ice cream.”  We were all sing along to that one.  When I played my set, I felt so alive.  The audience was really energetic.  People were clapping to the beat and singing along and cheering with enthusiasm.  I wish all shows could be like that.

To cap off the night, a group of us watched the fireworks from the park.  What a perfect day.

Last night was magical.  I played a show at a restaurant called the Tipper.  They have a private room for concerts, events, meetings, etc.  It is a very intimate venue.

Shortly after arriving, I met the two other artists who were playing at the show - Megan Beatty and Gina-Lily D’Attilio.  In addition to singing and songwriting, they are both involved in other creative endeavors.  Megan makes art and is also starting something called Emo Well, which has something to do with emotional wellness with music.  Gina has recently started writing songs for hire.  If someone wants a special gift for their friend, significant other, or family member, they can hire Gina to write a song just for them.  She gives them an extensive questionaire (with questions such as “What animal does this person remind you of?” or “What is your favorite memory with this person?”) and uses that info to write the song.  This is really cool.  I’ve actually thought of doing something like this before, but never really thought it would work.  Perhaps I should give it a try.  Gina also started a website/booking group called Solace Music Nation (website still under construction).  Solace Music Nation is dedicated to giving emerging artists the opportunity to play full sets of live music.  They also record the shows and play them on SFU radio.  Creativity like this gets me excited.

As far as the music goes, I thought all three of our sets went well.  I started the show with lots of energy.  Then Megan tooks us through an emotional journey with her cute shyness.  And Gina rocked out with some great melodies and a beautiful voice.  Her voice almost reminded me of Karla Adolphe from Jacob and Lily.

I thought the show was going to end with Gina, but then there was a surprise.  She invited her friend (I forgot his name) to come up for a set.  He started with a bunch of covers.  The most notable were “One” by U2 and “Hallelujah” by Leonard Coen (Jeff Buckley’s version is my favorite, though).  Something really cool happened with these songs… a couple of us in the crowd started singing some harmonies under our breath and before we knew it, the whole audience started singing along in five-part harmony with some sort of beautiful unity.  It was like we were one big family, but most of us didn’t even know each other.  Almost as a joke I started to wave my hands in the air (like I just don’t care) and other people joined in.  It was magical.  This guy then free-styled a couple songs.  We called out what we wanted him to sing about and he just made it up on the spot.  He did one about puppies and one about sunburns.  They were pretty funny.  Altogether, it was a great night.

If you’re interested, I’m playing again this Thursday at the Oasis Lounge.  Check out the facebook event.

My song “Death of Me” was originally a completely different song called “Autumn Leaves”.  The only parts that are the same are the guitar, a bit of the melody, and one line.

When I was recording Dark Before Dawn, I realized that the lyrics of Autumn Leaves wasn’t quite working.  The whole song was a metaphor for the passing on of grandparents, using the imagery of leaves in the Fall.  It was written decently well, but it didn’t have much heart to it, which is because I wasn’t really writing from experience… I was writing more thematically.  My producer, Adam Loewen, said (in the nicest way possible) that Autumn Leaves sounded like a teenage girl reciting her poem to an old folks home.  Here are the original lyrics for you to laugh at if you wish:

Autumn leaves, when winter comes we won’t forget your colors

Autumn leaves, you’re beautiful; your character is in your wrinkles

Fall down gently underground

Lay still in peace

In time this tree will see more leaves

In colors of gold

Autumn leaves, your history is memorable; you made a home

Autumn leaves, when winter comes this family tree feels empty

The only line I wanted to keep was  “Fall down gently underground.  Lay still in peace.” Although it lost it’s irony when it was no longer talking about leaves falling underground, it was still a good line.  I eventually thought of writing a song about a relationship dying - a love dying.  This is something that I could write about from experience.

I remember being in the relationship and both of us would always tell each other that we love each other, but we rarely showed our love.  I kept on hearing people say that love is a choice, which confused me.  I thought that if I chose to say, “I love you,” and tried to believe that it was true, then everything would just fix itself.  I didn’t realize that the choice involved real action as well.  I think the advice, “Love is a choice,” is a bit misleading.  I think the full message is that you need to choose to love someone and then act on that choice.  In other words, “Love is a verb,” like Dc Talk sang (I can’t believe I just referenced an old-school Dc Talk song!).

After my relationship broke up, I read a book called The Five Love Languages.  It’s too bad I didn’t read it earlier.  It talks about how people express and experience love in different ways from one another.  So sometime our love doesn’t get communicated because we are essentially speaking different languages.  The five languages are: service, quality time, gifts, words of affirmation, and physical touch.  People can speak all of these languages to some degree, but most people focus on one or two.

This book taught me how to act out my love (which I’m still working on).  And obviously when people don’t act out their love, it dies.  Hence my song, “Death of Me”.  You can find it on iTunes.

Here are the lyrics:

The air escapes my lungs. My God what have I done?

I knew our time would come but, not yet

My heart is slowing down. My head is spinning ‘round

My mouth is spilling out regret

Fall down gently underground

Lay still in peace

My love will be the death of me

It doesn’t suffice

I swear I read your mind. I knew you every time

But you had one surprise, you lied

You used to share with me, strong integrity

Now that ceases to be, we died

Fall down gently underground

Lay still in peace

My love will be the death of me

It doesn’t suffice

It doesn’t suffice

Love doesn’t suffice

I love it when my friends come out to my concerts because it’s always great to hang out with them and I feel supported by their attendance.  However, I totally understand that they can’t come to all of my shows… that would be a lot of time and money for them to invest.  But whenever they are able and willing, I really appreciate it.

There is actually something good, however, that comes from me playing gigs alone.  It allows me to spend more time getting to know new people, whether they be other artists, musicians, or fans.  And in an industry so dependent on connections, it is very good for me to spend some time getting to know people.

Last night I played a show at the Railway club here in Vancouver.  This is a venue that bands like the Barenaked Ladies and the Tragically Hip have played at, so I was pretty stoked.  When I got to the club, I met the other performers and found out that we were going to all stay on stage for the whole set.  This was a foreign idea to me.  Usually concerts are divided into sets with different acts - one or more opening act and then the main event.  But we were all up there the whole time.  I would play a song, then Jenny would play a song, then Super (that’s his real name, I think) would play a song.  It was different, but kinda cool.

As I was mentioning earlier, playing shows alone allows me to meet new people.  As I was drinking free beer (perks of performing), I had a conversation with a man named David.  He had a fantastic D’artagnan mustache (you know, the mustache accompanied by a soul patch).  For a living, David makes wooden horns… like didgeridoos and stuff like that.  He told me a story about sneaking into a public park at night to cut down the perfect branch to make a horn with.  He dressed completely in black and even painted his saw.  He even got a woman and her dog to come with him to be on the lookout and to also be a distraction in case anyone was coming (he also told me that this was a great way to seduce women… there’s nothing more romantic than breaking the law together).  Apparently he almost got caught by the cops once, but managed to sneak away.  He seems to think that no one would notice a branch missing from the park, but admits that he would look mighty suspicious walking past a police car, all dressed in black, holding a saw in one hand and a giant branch in the other.

Later on I had an inspirational conversation with Super, one of the other performers, about the music business.  He encouraged me to keep playing shows and told me that I have some good talent.  Encouragement is like the fuel to my music career.  It drives me to keep performing.  I think I will always play music nomatter what, at least privately, just because I love it… but in order for me to play publicly, I need to know that other people actually appreciate my music.  It would be selfish for me to play songs that people don’t even like.  A few months ago I was unsure if anyone would like my music, but now I’m starting to think that it really does connect with quite a few of people.  I just need to get the exposure so that people know about my music.  If you have any ideas or connections for me, let me know.